The Hardest Goodbye

My cousin M. has been on my mind a lot this week. It is his dad, and my uncle, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. My cousin and his family live in Switzerland and have been visiting for the month of July. I saw them earlier this week when Lola and I traveled south for a few days. When M. and I said goodbye, he told me the next time we would see each other the occasion would probably not be a happy one.

M. and his family are leaving today. He has to tell his father goodbye and chances are, he will never see him again. I cannot begin to imagine his sadness. Just thinking about it breaks my heart. Not being there when you want to most is without a doubt one of the hardest things about living thousands of miles away from your family.

It is in my future too.

Quickly, While I Can

We moved last weekend. Our house is in total chaos with various painting projects taking place in the dining room, living room, and kitchen. Random pieces of furniture are scattered about while the rest of our stuff is packed into the garage.

I cooked our first proper meal yesterday, not pizza or something heated up in the microwave, with the one wooden spoon I was able to find. We are still eating off paper plates, using plastic silverware and drinking out of disposable cups.

Lola and I are enjoying having some time off together. I paint; she plays with her stuffed animals, taking them for rides around the block. Every now and again we take a break to go grocery shopping.

For the time being, we are off line. No phone, no internet, no television. To keep you updated on our progress, I must visit the local bar. Our town is so small, we can walk everywhere. Also, there is no mail delivery here. We are now the proud owners of PO Box 281.

The house came with kitchen appliances but no washer and dryer. More so than buying this house, the purchase of our first proper washer and dryer makes us feel very grown up. After Ryan and I installed them, we grabbed a drink and hung out in the basement, admiring our new appliances. They make really cool noises when you turn them on and off.

I have one more coat of paint to go on the twenty seven kitchen cabinet doors. If I ever talk about painting kitchen cabinets again, someone please stop me. I don’t care how much money I am saving.

Getting Started

Before we move into our new house next weekend, we thought we would take advantage of its empty state and do a little remodeling. Painting mostly. We thought about refinishing the floors and fixing up the attic in addition to painting but the contractor we talked to flaked on us. That's fine really. There is still more than enough to do.

The 'before' shots

Ryan has graciously allowed me to paint the kitchen cabinets. He is a bit of a wood snob, and doesn't believe in adding artificial color to wood. But in this case, I can do what I want. While I have been taking down thirty three cabinet doors and eleven drawers, taking off sixty six pieces of hardware, and cleaning everything, he has ripped out the charming drop ceiling and fluorescent light fixtures. We are taking out the carpet, too.

I am looking forward to showing you the 'after' pictures.

Lazy Days Of Summer

Happy Independence Day!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

The house is ours! As of 9 o'clock this morning, Ryan and I are the proud owners of a sweet little Victorian home. The purchasing process took a little longer than expected due to competitive offers and leaky pipes.

This morning things went smooth, except for one thing: the length of my name. My name is so long, it does not fit on any of the official documents. I have been reduced to the fine print. Somewhere in an addendum to the offer to purchase it says that I too am a buyer.

At the closing however, my name was nowhere to be found. Supposedly they are going to type it in later, under my signature. Oh well, at least I have the keys...

Chip Or Dale?

Look who we found hanging out in the garage, chewing on insulation, and helping himself to the All You Can Eat Bird Seed Buffet.

Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained

A couple of weeks ago I went on a diet for the first time in my life. Summer is upon us which means shorts, tank tops, and bikinis are part of my wardrobe once again. Several ladies at the casino were talking about a very effective diet, based on a chemical reaction brought on by what you eat. They swear by it. And truth be told, you can tell they are losing weight.

My mother-in-law and I decided to join in on the fun. And I even took it one step further; I quit smoking at the same time. If I was going to mess with my metabolism, I might as well do it right. Those first three days were hard. Very hard. Not so much the not smoking, although I did have a hard time focusing after 2 PM, but the hunger... All I could think about was food. No doubt fueled by the fact I was no longer suppressing my appetite with nicotine.

I did not lose the promised ten pounds that first week, or any week thereafter for that matter, but I did lose some. More importantly, I did not gain any. Had it not been for my diet, I would have snacked non-stop those first few days after quitting smoking. I still diet three days a week and lose about six pounds, most of which I eat back on again during the four days I can eat what I want. I don't think this particular diet is really for me.

To be honest, I am not the dieting kind. I just need to watch my portions, make sure I eat more veggies, and get moving. Lack of exercise is my main problem. I guess we're breaking out the Richard Simmons records tomorrow morning...

Nature Updates

The thousands of trilliums alongside the road have made room for the lupines. Beautiful, bountiful, blue lupines. There are wild columbine growing in the woods around us and every time I go to cut some chives, I have to fend off the bumble bees.

Lola has been catching and kissing frogs. Repeatedly. So far, no prince.

The water in the lake is six inches higher than it was last year. What a difference that makes. We have even put in the dock. Not off our side, the water is still too shallow for that, but a little bit further out. At least we can enjoy the pontoon boat this summer.

Ryan has decided to single-handedly populate the lake with turtles. Every time he sees one crossing the road, he stops and brings it home. Lola is tickled. Not sure about the turtles.

My one strawberry plant is looking good. Last year, a deer ate our strawberries, all but one. This year we have moved it to the fenced garden. Fingers crossed.

Speaking of deer, they are everywhere. They stand in the middle of the road, chatting with each other, oblivious of oncoming traffic. You have to come to a full stop almost and honk your horn to get them to move.

Lola has scolded me twice now for doing just that. She thinks I should stop the car, get out, and politely say Excuse me to the deer. Or chipmunk. Or whatever animal is sitting in the middle of the road.

Ryan has passed Lola in bear sightings. So far, he has seen eight bears. All mothers with cub(s). We're jealous.

And just this morning, as I was having breakfast, I saw the two Great Horned Owls that live in the neighbor's woods fly by. So very impressive!

Dandelions

Yellow as far as the eye can see

Toddler Talk V

Lola: "Can I take a bath? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease."
Me: "No honey, you already took a bath this morning."
Lola: "But I did three push ups!"

Lola: "I love you. You are the best mom in the whole world! You can make computers, you can make houses, you can maaaaaake............ snacks."
Me: "Um..., thanks!"

Lola, wearing new purple and pink swim goggles: "When I wear my swim goggles, are my cousins gonna think I look silly?"

Lola: "Mama, you know what? You are my favorite girl."

Lola: "Mama. When it's spring time day, the green ones... that talk..., what are they called again?"
Me: "Um..., frogs? Leprechauns?"
Lola: "Yes, leprechauns! They make the snow go away."

Lola: "Let's play I am the mom and you are the honey."

Lola: "My hand hurts."
Me: "What's wrong with it?"
Lola: "It hurts when I go like this." [Pushes her fingers backwards towards her wrist.]
Me: "Well, don't do that then."
Lola: "I am having a rough day."

Nativity set = Activity set
Co-workers = Work friends

Gone Fishing

Winners Of Strange Contests

I just read on the Dutch news that the greater Eindhoven region has been awarded the Intelligent Community of the Year 2011 prize by the Intelligent Community Forum. For those of you who have never heard of Eindhoven; it is a large city in the south of Holland, and home to Philips headquarters, of television and light bulb fame.

I did not know this particular competition existed before I read that interesting bit of news. I do know people like to compete for the strangest titles and awards. Even in our family.

The other day when we were out and about looking for a place to live, we wandered around on a property and emerged covered in ticks. After the tick count was complete, Ryan came out the winner. I must have pulled fifteen ticks off him that afternoon, and at least ten off Lola. Strangely enough not a single one was found on me.

When it comes to bear sightings, we are all in agreement that Lola has seen more black bears these last two years than anyone else.

But where moving is concerned, I am the absolute winner. When we move into this cute little Victorian home later this month, it will be the twenty fifth time in my life that I have moved house. TWENTY FIVE MOVES. That's a little more than once every other year.

For the next five years, I am not going anywhere. Wild horses cannot drag me.

Looking Out The Kitchen Window

This hummingbird and her spouse visit us daily

Queen For A Day

"Don't be shy, just say hi," was my four year old daughter's advice as I sat behind my computer this morning staring at a blank screen. I came up with the post title eight months ago when I finally felt my blog had enough substance to submit it for consideration as the featured blog over at The SITS Girls. But the rest of my introductory post has remained empty to this day.

Hi!

I am truly thrilled to be the featured blogger today at The Secret to Success is Support, the wonderful circle of support made for and by bloggers. When I first moved from The Netherlands to the United States, I wanted to let the folks back home know how things were going. I started with a letter, added some photo's, played around with the lay-out and before I knew it, I had a newsletter; Olympic Adventures, since we were living in Olympia WA back then. I sent out two newsletters and then I had a child.

Fast forward two and a half years and out of my New Year's resolution of doing better at keeping in touch with people, Olympic Adventures - The Blog was born, nowadays know as Northwoods Adventures. It is a place where I record the goings on, big and small, of my family. Our good and bad fortune, the funny things my daughter does and says, the occasional crafty endeavor, and whatever else is on my mind. I enjoy blogging tremendously because it is therapy, a journal, a scrapbook, and a family history all rolled into one.

On special today are three posts I have selected for you. First - the cliff notes of my life so far, second - funny stuff my child says, and third - what an unbelievable adventure the outdoors can be. Thank you for visiting my corner of the Northwoods. I hope to pop into your neighborhood for a return visit very soon!

The Adventures of a Dutch Girl
Toddler Talk
Trespassers will be shot

Life And Death

"Mama, do you remember opa J.?" Lola asked me softly last night when we were snuggling before bedtime. "Yes I do," I answered her. "He’s sick," she told me, "and he is never ever going to get better. I really miss him."

She was talking about my uncle, my dad’s younger brother who lives in south east Wisconsin. When he retired, he and my aunt bought a catamaran in the Caribbean where they spend their winters sailing from island to island. Last March, while visiting a street festival in the lovely Santa Lucia, J. ate a fishy looking fish and promptly got sick. Food poisoning was everyone’s first thought. Except the vomiting and diarrhea wouldn’t stop.

After dropping forty five pounds, several visits to local ER’s, and an overnight hospital stay, they decided to fly back a little early and see a doctor here. The doctor suggested a cat-scan to look for a possible obstruction in J.’s colon, something they did indeed find. They also found something else; advanced pancreatic cancer. There is no cure for that. And just like that, everything changed.

I took a few days off last week and drove south for a visit. My aunt, uncle, and my cousins have been my second family since I was seventeen. It was a good visit. It was a little shocking to see J. minus forty five pounds. The 4,000 calorie diet he is currently on hasn’t done him much good yet. (It worked great for us though, especially the rhubarb crumble pie and the blueberry cheesecake.) And aside from the fact that we talked a lot about cancer and death, it was very much like old times.

J. started chemotherapy last Wednesday. When I called on Friday to see how he was holding up, I was told things were going okay for the most part. But Ryan spoke to my cousin last night and found out J. had spent the weekend in the hospital, very sick from the chemo. For the next eight days, he can recover, then he goes back for round two. Every other week a round of chemo, for the next eight weeks.

I don’t know why Lola thought of J. all of a sudden. The conversation from last night was a carbon copy of the conversation she and I had a few weeks ago, when J. was first diagnosed and she wanted to know why I was crying. She has been talking a lot about death lately, brought on by a dead deer she saw alongside the road. There is a lot going on in that little blond head of hers. And it won’t be very long that I will no longer have all the answers.

Religious Education

Don't laugh, but I have started to work on my big Christmas project for the year. Last year I made an advent calender in the shape of a Christmas tree. I did not want to fill it with gifts or candy, I wanted to make it about the meaning of Christmas. The plan was to make a twenty four piece nativity set. However, after submitting my plan to a reality check, I went for little ornaments instead, and store bought at that.

So this year I am making a nativity set. Little wooden figurines and needle felted animals. I have needle felted once before, many years ago, under the careful guidance of my sister, needle felter extraordinaire. This time I am on my own. I went online and found a step-by-step tutorial on how to needle felt a sheep. I started two weeks ago. Let's just say it's a good thing the first of December is still more than six months away. My sheep does not resemble a sheep in the slightest.

I mentioned my project to a co-worker in the break room the other day. I don't know if she misunderstood me or has very little faith in my needle felting skills, but she walked in last week with a gift for me. She was at a garage sale where she found a nativity set and bought it for me. I was touched by her thoughtfulness.

When I went to pick up Lola that day, she asked me if I had a surprise for her. I told her I did, as a matter of fact, and showed her the nativity set. Ryan and I are not very church going and Lola's knowledge of religion is basically non-existent. I introduced all the characters of the nativity set to her and then tried to put it away to buckle her in her car seat.

"But mama," she cried, "I want to play with Jesus!"

A Long Time Coming

About two years ago, when we were still living out west, a local cable company installed underground cable all around the lake here in Crandon, a very costly endeavor. Yet not a single attempt was made to sign any of the residents up for services. No phone calls, no direct mail, nothing. Ryan did a little research and sent the General Manager of the company a friendly letter, expressing his surprise at the absence of a sales force, and enclosing his resume.

About a year and a half ago, after I had already moved to Crandon to start my job here, Ryan checked his email one last time before he disconnected his computer to pack it up in the moving truck he was about to drive to Wisconsin. In his inbox was a reply to his letter from the General Manager, stating he would like to meet with Ryan as soon as he got settled in.

About fourteen months ago, the three of us drove to the UP for Ryan’s interview. It was a most memorable trip. A somewhat nervous interview candidate dressed in his very best suit. A muffler dragging over the road announcing the candidate’s arrival from miles away. A frantic wife lying on her belly in the middle of County Road C trying to forcefully remove the muffler. The candidate and his wife arguing about whether or not the muffler could simply be yanked off (it couldn’t).

Unlike the drive up, the meeting itself was a success. Unfortunately all that was offered to Ryan at the time was to work as an independent contractor. After careful consideration, Ryan decided that this was not the right opportunity and he politely turned it down. It was met with understanding and without any hard feelings. From time to time the General Manager would even contact Ryan to see what he was up to.

About four weeks ago, the General Manager approached Ryan again and asked him if he would like to talk about the position of Business Development Manager. Of course he would.

He started on Monday.

How Sweet It Is

Easter Sunday brought us eggs, treats, and sunshine. Glorious, beautiful, warm sunshine. For a moment there, it seemed spring had sprung.

In the spirit of Easter and resurrection, the flowers I have been staring out of the ground for the last few weeks have finally surfaced. Tulips, hyacinths, daffodils, and crocuses are peaking from the dirt. Like us, they must be pleased to feel the warmth of the sun after all that snow. I haven’t had the heart to tell them more snow showers are predicted for the middle of the coming week. I too, am in denial.

After we returned from a few hours in Rhinelander to pack up more boxes, the three of us dug a few lawn chairs out of the basement and carried them around to the sunniest spot in the garden, just off the garage. Ryan and I basked in the sun, sipped from our cocktails, and watched Lola ride around on her bicycle all afternoon.

We ended the day down by the lake. Warming up by the side of the impromptu bonfire Ryan and Lola built, we watched the sun set on the lake and the stars come out. A little James Taylor in the background topped it off. Several geese joined us while dozens more flew in overhead, loudly announcing their return to Lake Lucerne.

It was an absolutely perfect day.

Growing Pains

With every birthday comes a doctor's visit. Last Thursday Lola and I visited with her pediatrician for her four year old check up. She was so excited, she had been asking me all week when we were going to the doctor.

The visit went fine, for the most part. She is growing as she should and everything functions as it should. No surprise there. It ended with the final round of her vaccinations. When I told her she was going to get some shots, she enthusiastically asked if she was going to get a band aid? Why, of course!

Two nurses came in to administer the vaccinations, four in all. While I held Lola's elbows, they stereo poked her. Lola sat up when she felt the first pokes but held it together. But the last one, the MMR, was a mean one. That one really hurt. Poor girl. Not even the toy stethoscope the nurse gave her when it was over could console her. When I asked her if she was mad, she answered: "No. I am sad."

Lola and I both have a dental appointment next week. She is also very much looking forward to that visit but she did check with me first if the dentist was going to poke her too. I told her no, he will not. She sighed with relief and proceeded to tell me she never wants to go to the doctor again, she prefers the dentist. I wonder how long it will stay that way...

A Gentle Reminder

When I dropped Lola off at daycare this morning, her teacher and I talked about her not quite so festive birthday party this Saturday. Miss A. told me it was the start of Spring Break and lots of people were going out of town. I did not know that. My bad for poor planning. It is still no excuse for not calling, though.

One of the no-show mothers overheard us and explained why her daughter wasn't able to make the party. "It would have been nice to know that so I could have prepared Lola for no-one showing up," I shot back and gave her a dirty look. "Oh," she replied. Filled with resentment I walked out of the daycare, got in my car and left.

A few minutes later at the traffic lights, I pulled up behind a car with LVG NRGY on her license plate. I am assuming the driver was a she, I don't think many men up here are prone to driving around with Loving Energy written on their cars. It made me smile. I took a deep breath and all my anger flowed right out of me.

The universe was talking to me again. Thanks for the reminder.

The Finishing Touch



Every moving box should have a bow on top



A Mother's Heartbreak

Lola's birthday party was today. For the first time she invited her own friends to celebrate turning four with. I wanted to do the Waldorf thing and invite the same number of friends as her age, four. Turns out I was wrong. The total number of the party should have been four, according to Rudolf Steiner. Lola on the other hand, invited all of her friends.

In the end it didn't matter because only one friend showed up.

Lola was disappointed, of course, but I am downright heartbroken. And angry. I am very upset with the mothers of three of her friends (one mother had called and canceled because they were going out of town for a family visit). How can they do this to a little girl? Just this morning we ran into one of her friends and her mother at the Y. That mom had called to let me know both she and her daughter were coming, sending me into a frenzy to purchase some adult snacks in addition to the toddler stuff. And then she doesn't show or call.

I just don't understand. Nor do I know what to do about it. I will most likely end up ignoring it. But truth be told, I would really like to give these people a piece of my mind. Ryan is ready to take the day off and wait for them outside Lola's daycare. I'll tell you one thing. I feel a lot less sad about leaving Rhinelander and sending Lola to yet another daycare/preschool.

And if anyone wants to come over this week, we have plenty of cake, snacks, beverages, and homemade party favors left over. If you don't mind lending a hand because we are in the midst of moving...

A Taste Of Summer

Ryan is visiting with his parents in Arizona at the moment, enjoying some lovely summer weather. We spoke earlier today and I told him it is cold here. The wind is blowing hard, I am waiting for the power to go out, and tomorrow we are expecting three to five inches of snow. That made him happy. I'll bet. Just last week it was the other way around. I was basking in the Arizona sunshine while he was stuck in winter.

I was in Arizona for the annual National Indian Gaming Association's Conference and Trade Show. This was my second time and it was better than last year. I met some old and new business contacts, watched my old boss win a Harley Davidson, and participated in some very interesting workshops. But most of all, I enjoyed the weather.

Walking in Phoenix in the warm evening breeze reminded me of my vacations in Spain during my high school and college years. Pasty white skin, dolled up for an evening on the town, we would wander the streets of Blanes or Malgrat de Mar and enjoy the warm weather and the local charm. The Arizona locals complained it was cold outside one morning, a lovely 70 degrees, forcing me to pipe in and tell them they don't know what cold outside is.

Downtown Phoenix is a strange mix of old and new. Of European architecture, Latino architecture, and modern office and hotel buildings, rising above everything else. The vivid pink and red flowers and fresh green trees brighten up the drab colored buildings. The strawberries taste sweeter in Arizona, I found. The cars are nicer, classier, and cleaner. Phoenix is a very clean city. Surprisingly so because I had a very hard time finding a trash can on the streets.

One afternoon I stopped in to visit St. Mary's Basilica, Phoenix' oldest Catholic church just passed the Convention Center. It was a quiet and peaceful haven. The large cross facing the modest front doors was dressed in purple for Lent. Inside it was cool but not cold. Only one other visitor was sitting in the pews, silently praying. The stained glass windows were beautiful, as was the colorful dome. When I went to light a candle, a surprise awaited me. No doubt as a result of local fire code, I could not actually light a candle but had to push a button to ignite a small flickering electric light. Ah, progress...

Nomads

We're back in Crandon. Again. Living with my in-laws. Again. This time it was not the lack of employment opportunities that chased us away. No, we have left our house in Rhinelander because of mold. Dangerous levels of mold.

A couple of months ago, our basement flooded as the result of a burst pipe. Our landlady V. has not exactly been on top of fixing things, to put it mildly. The waterpark was handled quickly enough, but restoring things to the way they were has taken almost two months. We would call her every now and again, to let her know the carpet was still a mess, the base boards were still missing, and mold was starting to form.

Then the family room started to stink. To the point where you would hold your breath when you walked through it. We decided to do a little mold test. And sure enough, we hit a jackpot. When we informed our landlady, she told Ryan she was sending over some friends to assess the situation. As it turned out, her friend was a former health inspector and as soon as he walked in the door, he cried out: "This place reeks of mold! You have to leave, this is dangerous."

And so we did. Well, I didn't do anything, I was living it up in Phoenix while all this went down. Ryan's parents kindly instructed their plumber to de-winterize their house and offered it to us. Ryan packed up Lola, Sandman, and a few other necessities and off to Crandon they went. In the meantime landlady V. called her contractor again and requested he finally finish up. When we returned to the house on Saturday, the guest room carpet had been cleaned and the family room smelled nice again. The base boards are still missing.

Now it could be just me, but fighting mold with a steam cleaner does not make a lot of sense to me. Moisture and warmth? Ideal growing conditions for mold. And that nice smell? Emptying a bottle of Fabreze could have accomplished that. We ran another mold test, in the family room this time, to be sure things had been handled properly. And until we were certain it was safe to live there again, we were staying put in Crandon.

When I spoke to V. to let her know of our plans she told me her friend felt he had exaggerated the smell. It wasn't really mold, it was probably just the dirty carpet in the guest room. Really? At that moment she lost all credibility with me. And when our little test kit started showing signs of life, we decided to move.

Where to? We don't know yet. What I do know is that I am really tired of moving. Really tired. I have far too much crap to be a proper nomad.

Four!

Happy birthday to my beautiful, funny, charming, mischievous, smart, outgoing, cool, imaginative, creative, and loving daughter. This day is a very special day. Because this is the day you were given to me to care for. You are, and always will be, my favorite little person in the whole wide world! Even though you told me you're officially a big girl now.

I love you Lola, with all of my heart!

Three For Three

When I traveled to Palm Springs two months ago, the Midwest was hit by the Storm of the Century, shutting down the region entirely. And while Lola and I were enjoying glorious spring weather in Holland recently, the Northwoods were treated to a whopping fifteen inches of snow.

In a few hours I leave for Phoenix where the temperature is a balmy 85 degrees. True to form, I leave Wisconsin looking like a winter wonderland once again. My fellow team members have requested I do not leave the state anymore.

Snapshots From The Homeland: Old Friends

Snapshots From The Homeland: At Last