Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts

04 April 2010

Felices Pascuas

The Easter Bunny, though she insists it was Santa, brought Lola a little basket filled with treats and treasures this lovely Easter morning. Stickers, beads, play money, little wooden eggs and cows, and chocolates! After generously sharing a couple of hundred dollars and some gold coins - but not the chocolate - with her parents and the cat, she counted what was left.

"... Quatro, cinco...," I heard her softly muttering. I was impressed and amused. Thank you, Dora. I told Lola it was high time she learned how to count in Dutch and showed her how.

"Een, twee, drie, vier..."

"Quatro, cinco," she chimed in.

My child is becoming bilingual alright, just not the language I had in mind. Though much more practical, I'm sure.

Happy Easter! Vrolijk Pasen! And Felices Pascuas, too!

28 March 2010

Toddler Talk

She will be three in two weeks. Her language skills are improving every day. Sometimes there are so many words exploding in her head, it makes her stutter. We patiently wait for the words to come out. And what comes out can be pretty funny...


To Ryan as he is leaving for school:
"Bye papa! Don’t pee in your pants, don’t poop in your pants. I love you!"

Whilst reading the adventures of Dora the Explorer and being corrected on the use of he versus she:
“He is not she, he is Dora!”

“Lola, I have had enough. Can you please be a normal, good girl?”
“No. I want to be Lola.”

On ignoring the ‘No Running in the House’ rule:
“But mom, I am not running. I am pretending to run.”

Asking to look at the pictures and movies on my digital camera:
“I want to look at Lola, The Movie!”

The girl likes to dance:
“I need some music.” (And by music she means The Black Eyed Peas.)

When I try to dislodge myself from her grip after kissing her good night:
"You can't go anywhere. I am keeping you." Followed by her 'evil' laugh "Ha, ha, ha, ha..."


24 January 2010

Big Girls Don't Cry

After being caught making a huge mess earlier today, Lola was put in a time out. She is usually very compliant about her punishment. But this time she took off the minute we turned our backs, inviting the following reprimand:

"Now sit down and stay there. And don't pout. Take your time out like a real woman."

And so she did.

21 January 2010

Improv Skills

What to do when you find yourself in need of a band aid and there are none to be found?

08 January 2010

Cute And Funny

"I'm cute," Lola informed me last night when we were getting ready for bed. She gave me her best fake smile; her mouth wide open, her teeth clenched, and a twinkle in her eye. Very much like this one. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm funny, too," she added.

How could I possibly argue with that?

10 December 2009

In Other News

Crandon newcomer Lola N. (2) has made the front page of the Forest Republican, Forest County's local newspaper, within eight days of her arrival. She was photographed last Saturday admiring Dr. Perry's annual Christmas lights display in the company of her mother and grandparents.

Miss N. declined to comment when asked for a response to her front page appearance. She was, however, prepared to admit she really liked the pretty lights.

29 May 2009

Bert & Ernie

Most mornings when Lola wakes up, I take her into bed with us to snuggle for a little bit. I have this romantic notion in my mind of the two of us sleeping together in the big bed, spooning and cuddling. I love to look at her sleeping, with her rosy cheeks, snug in her bed surrounded by an increasing number of stuffed animals and dolls. She is such an angel when she sleeps.

A little while ago, Ryan was out with a friend and he was going to spend the night away from home. I was very tired that day and when I put Lola to bed, I decided to turn in as well. And since I had all this extra room in my bed, I took the opportunity to let her sleep with me and live out my fantasy.

It was a nightmare! She would not stop talking at first. At one point she had become quiet and I thought she had fallen asleep. I was almost gone myself when she grabbed my nose and started singing "I like to move it, move it..." from the Madagascar movie with the dancing hippo shaking her booty. It was as funny as it was annoying. I kept shushing her until at long last she was silent.

Unfortunately, that was not the end of it. She wouldn't lay still either. She tossed and turned, kicked me countless times, climbed over me to my other side (and again, and again), she even fell out of bed once. I tried putting her back in her own bed but it was too late for that. She wouldn't have it. It was hours later when she at last conked out. By that time I was wide awake, of course.

It reminded me of the Bert & Ernie skit where the two of them are in bed and Ernie keeps waking up a tired and sleepy Bert to tell him something trivial. "Bert, Bert, wake up Bert..." By the time Ernie finally falls asleep, Bert is wide awake. At least he had his own bed.

So much for romantic mother and daughter sleepovers. Live and learn. And sleep.

14 May 2009

Bad Hair

Whilst enjoying some lovely Washington weather (read: it has been pouring rain here for days) I was reminded of an earlier post about the lack of umbrellas in Olympia. I blamed it on the beanie hat wearing hippies that make up a large part of the local population.

Turns out I was right. Olympia is the second worst hair city in the US. Only the citizens of Corpus Cristi TX have grubbier hair. There are twenty five listed hairstylists for a city of approximately 45.000. No wonder everyone covers up their hair.

13 May 2009

Puppy Love

Lola loves animals. She wants nothing more than to play with them. "Bird!", she exclaims whenever she sees a robin in the backyard, and charges after it, never quite catching up. She is always happy to see Sandman and is completely oblivious to the fact he does not reciprocate. "Hi Sandman!" when she walks in the door, "Bye Sandman!" when we leave.

Lola especially loves dogs. Not too many dogs want to play with her, though. Most dogs are afraid of small children. Perhaps because they are unpredictable, make too many sudden moves, are too rough, or because they instinctively feel they need to stay away to avoid the possible wrath of the mother. But this weekend when we were playing in the park, there was a puppy that did not run away.


He probably should have. You see, he was a boy puppy and boy puppies have parts you can pull on. Add sexual harassment to the list of reasons why dogs do not like small children. Poor puppy...

14 April 2009

Sing-A-Long Post

Because The Sound of Music is a classic, everyone should be able to sing along! Here we go. One, two, three...

Raisins in noses
A daughter that cringes
Saline filled hoses
And blue bulb syringes
One screaming toddler
That's tied down with strings
These are a few of my least favorite things


I didn't really tie Lola down with strings, I pinned her down with my legs but that doesn't rhyme. Nor was it a hose filled with saline. Just a little tube. In the end there was no raisin to be found in her nose. She probably just pushed up a booger while she was picking her nose and eating raisins at the same time.

That'll teach her!

11 April 2009

Arts & Crafts

A few days ago I played hooky and left work early to enjoy a few hours of sun. Totally engrossed in planting petunias, I lost track of time and was a little late picking up Lola. Carla opened the door looking frazzled, begging me to take my child far, far away. The child was already in her jammies and her hair looked wet, as if she had just taken a bath. I wasn't that late. Hmmm, strange...

It turns out Lola is slowly becoming a One Nap A Day Girl and didn't sleep at all during her afternoon nap. She just hung out in her crib. Evidently she got bored after a while and decided to do some painting. With the contents of her diaper. Poor Carla. While I was enjoying the sunshine and fresh air, she had to deal with my filthy child. And I honestly thought Lola hated getting her hands dirty!

We brought Carla a basket of petunias to make amends. And LOTS of baby wipes.

30 March 2009

Grandma In A Pocket

Lola was checking my pockets for grandma, yesterday. First she investigated the right pocket. When she didn't find what she was looking for, she got up, walked over to my other side and looked in the left pocket. "Grandma in pocket?" No. No grandma to be found in either pocket, but she did find a box of raisins. She settled for that.

She was looking for my digital camera. She knows it holds pictures of her grandmother. Ever since we have returned from Arizona, Lola loves to look at pictures of her grandma. She once saw a picture of Judy on Facebook, so now whenever I take out the computer, Lola comes running up to me "Grandma, grandma!", directing me to Judy's homepage.


I remember taking pictures of my nephews with an old-fashioned camera, several years ago. The youngest came up to me, wanting to look at the 'little pictures'. I tried to explain how in the old days there was such a thing as film and developing pictures. A time consuming process. And no preview. "Oh."

Growing up in the digital age will do that to you.

28 March 2009

Lola Speaks

Proud Mom Report
We were waiting in the checkout line at Jo-Ann fabric and craft store this morning, when out of the blue Lola started counting. All the way to ten! The only one she skipped was seven. Child prodigy for sure!

Not So Proud Mom Report

Lola is developing a bit of a potty-mouth. No idea where she picks up these words. Ahem. The 'mot du jour' starts with an ef and ends with uck. She likes to say it with feeling, loud and clear, for everyone to hear. When I tell her it's an ugly word she cannot use, she looks at me and says it louder. Testing boundaries is fun!

The 'do as I say, not as I do' parenting technique does not seem to be working. Mouth rinses all around, then!

Public Plea

14 March 2009

The Young And The Cunning

Update from the potty training front. We have had one hit so far, to everyone's delight but Lola's. She was SHOCKED. There have been several misses too. You have to be quick when she yells "Poopie!"

Most of the time however, when she stands in front of me, pulling on the snap buttons of her onesie, it's a ploy to get me to take off her clothes and diaper. Once she's naked, she sits down on the potty for a few seconds pretending to strain. Then it's "All done!" and she's off. Good luck getting her dressed again. I am as much in awe of this cleverness as I am annoyed by it.

01 March 2009

Potty Training


Lola handed me a turd this evening, as she was getting ready for bed. A fresh one, still warm and slightly sticky. I didn't immediately realize what it was when she laid it in my hand. Ryan got it just before I did. We have officially begun potty training, I guess. Please join us on our exciting journey as we learn to aim for the potty, rather than mom's hand.

25 February 2009

The Party Sink

It's called a party tub. Ours is bright red, oval shaped, and made of plastic. Its purpose is to be filled with ice and drinks at parties. For us it is a sink. It holds our dirty dishes until we are ready to clean them. And sometimes, like yesterday, it doubles as a wash tub or a bathtub.



Lola has obviously beaten the bug.

20 February 2009

Friday Funnies

Lola whacked me on the head this morning in bed. She does this quite often. (I am surprised she hasn't broken my nose yet.) But this time she gave me a kiss on the ouch spot and said: "Sowwy." It was the first time she did that. Needless to say, the pain magically went away. Instantly.

Carla already had a house full of kids when I dropped Lola off. Dylan (4) had spent the night and was in the bathroom getting dressed. When my daughter tried to enter the bathroom, Dylan popped his head out and declared: "Lola wants me."

They grow up so fast.